Almost through the first semester

Yesterday I had my final painting crit of the semester. I got good feedback, but more importantly, I felt good about the work I presented. I felt good about it before I put it up for critique. Somewhere along this semester I've remembered how to paint and started pushing myself in new directions. That's why I'm doing this thing, or at least it's part of it. It's just nice to feel like things are coming together.

Now I have to do the things I've been putting off. These are the final projects for my non-studio classes. The biggest of these is a paper for art history. The next biggest thing is to help get the final exam set up for the class I TA. The other stuff isn't a big deal as long as I can complete it by Friday.

The quantity of things to do in grad school makes it tougher. There are a few things that would be difficult by themselves, but most aren't so bad other than taking time and needing to be done. I'm ready for break. I'm so close. Just a few more things to do and I'll be there.

Priorities

I like the idea of this blog. It has not been a priority. In the short term, at least, this has paid off for me. I made my first priority working in my studio. I had my semester review Friday before last, and it went well. The semester review is a thing they do here at Ohio University to prepare people for the candidacy review at the end of next semester. There's a higher chance of not making it through that review, but the faculty want students to be prepared for it. So we have the semester review. It feels good to have made it through this round. I understand they don't typically boot people after the first semester. Still, it's nice to have the feeling of being on track.

Other people help a lot. Professors and other students all were willing to offer advice. Sometimes the advice is contradictory. Just keep in mind that everyone's advice is filtered through their own experience. Figure out which parts of what advice apply most to your situation and your practice.

don't stop believing

To anyone reading this blog in real time, I'm sorry it's been a while since an update. I have been in my studio painting. I like the idea of tracking what it's like to go through a research-intensive MFA program, but in order to do that, I have to be making work.

I had my second round of crits today. Things went much better than they did the first round. While there were still plenty of comments about things that I could have done better, there were also comments about the successes. I think the main thing I did was show that I've been putting in studio hours and that I've been willing to experiment.

Early on in the semester, I heard people talking about a lot of conceptual aspects of their work. People stressed that content is king. While that's correct, the part I was missing is that it's better to figure out how to express your content by executing a plan and meeting limited success than it is to spend a lot of time trying to figure out the best way to express your content. Make choices for reasons, be willing to evaluate them.

I talked to a friend earlier this week. I was freaking out because I was not sure about the work I was making. He's been through an MFA, so he understood. He told me to dive in. That's what I'd done, but I was afraid it wasn't going to pan out. It doesn't matter if everything pans out. A lot of being successful is just making work and evaluating what does and doesn't work. You can't learn if you keep making the same things by the same formulas. Once you learn anything, that lesson will inform how you work from that point on.

Anyway, I know I'll be stressed again, but for right now, I feel good about the progress I'm making. I have my official progress review coming up in a few weeks. I'm positive I'll have some of the freak out about that. I'm just going to try the best I can.

Critique Follow Up

After my critique, I had studio visits with several faculty. This provides a different format for feedback. The focus is less on the success of pieces presented, and more on how to continue. I got a lot of advice. Even though some of it seemed contradictory, it was all good. You can't expect professors to tell you what to do with your art. That is your own job. They will ask you questions and offer ideas to consider. It is impossible to follow all of this advice.

I am learning that I need to focus my work better. As one professor put it, I need to make sure I answer all of the "stupid" questions, the things that may be obvious (or unconsidered) are the ones that hang viewers up. If any spaces are left conceptually empty, viewers will supply their own ideas to fill them. I need to be in the moment with my work when I am creating it. It's ok to be in a mental zone where I am just focused on working, but if I let myself fall into making things and not being present with them, the quality will suffer.

I'm also learning that there isn't one true answer. Every professor and student I've talked to had different ideas about what did or didn't work. the trick is to read between these different ideas. There isn't a formula to make better artwork. Improvement is the result of having a better understanding of what causes people not to connect with a piece. Addressing those doesn't mean following the exact suggestions, but it is important to consider them. Even though I will probably not cover everything by the next critique (which is in three weeks), I will have tried. Chances are that things will go better.

Through First Crit

I had my first critique. It could have gone a lot better than it did. On the plus side, no one was spiteful. On the negative side, I have to expand the way I think about making art quite a bit. My advice to myself is to decide what is important and to be sure I am willing to kill my darlings. Just because something is a good idea does not make it a good idea in context. If ideas are incongruous without purpose, they detract from each other, even if they are both good ideas on their own. Every action involved in the making and presentation of art is a decision. Some decisions may not be conscious. The more those decisions are deliberate, the stronger the intent of the work becomes.

To anyone who finds themselves in a situation like this, do not despair. Graduate school is hard. Remember they accepted you. If like me, you are getting funding, remember that they have a vested interest in your success, even though it may not always seem that way.

While this is not the last crit I'll have, time will go by quickly. I need to internalize the questions and advice. I don't get the option of just doing what people suggest. Even if they'd given me their opinions, their art is not my art. I need to ask myself better questions so my artistic inquiry can lead to better solutions. I knew I'd have to face some of these challenges, I just didn't realize I'd face so many at once. As much as I'd have liked to have heard that everything I'm doing is strong, that kind of feedback would not have given me something else to learn. I don't want this degree just for the certification. I want to grow.

What I heard at the beginning is true. This is not undergrad 2.0.

Things not to do when starting an MFA

Don't fill your first two weekends with activities that require you to be away from your studio. I can't control when my 20 year high school reunion or friends' weddings are scheduled, but it sure would have been better for my work if I'd not been so far from my practice. It's finally starting to feel like things are rolling in my studio.

If you will be getting your MFA in a location with which you are not familiar, don't wait until you must be there to get to know the area. Fortunately for me, people here are helpful. Still I think my transition would have been much smoother had I taken some time beforehand to get settled and scope the area out.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. the only reason I'm doing even marginally well is that I've relied on advice and wisdom of professors and other students. I can't say it's universal across all MFA programs, but in this one, people are more than happy to help spare you the difficulties they faced. Your experience is unique, but the situation is not.

Beginning to feel settled

I just finished my second day of classes. Grad school is a lot of work. Everyone says it because it's true. In order to maintain funding, students at this university are required to be enrolled in 18 hours of classes every semester. I will graduate with a lot more hours than the catalog says I need. This also means that it's difficult to graduate from this university with just the bare minimum. I'm not interested in the minimum. It's uncomfortable, but growth doesn't come without effort.

I am very grateful that I don't have a job beyond my weekly 10 hours of being a TA. They are having me jump right in to class. I get to assist teaching in a foundations course. I haven't taken the course that allows me to be the instructor of record, but they set up my TA position so that I can team-teach with the professor (to an extent). Even though I have a positive impression of how it will play out, there are plenty of other things to do just trying to keep up with classes.

It was daunting at first, but I finally got all of my classes lined up for this semester. I'm not officially enrolled in all of them, but the only obstacle is completing paperwork. My schedule was largely determined by classes I'll need that are not offered every semester (or sometimes even not even every year). Since I would like to get some deeper teaching experience, I'm taking the class on Pedagogy. Contemporary Art History is going to require a lot of reading and writing. I think taking it now rather than my third year will allow me to examine how critics and historians view and judge art of today, thus helping me strengthen my practice sooner rather than later. I'm taking a Painting seminar on other ways painters engage with the art world as professionals. I am hoping this will help me learn how to build networks, something I'm terrible at right now. Those three classes are only seven of my credit hours.

The other 11 semester hours will be studio classes. I'm putting it all into the regular studio painting class and an independent with one of the other painting profs. The independent will let me get a voice critiquing my work that I wouldn't otherwise hear. I need to get going because my first studio visit is in two weeks.

In my undergrad experience, most studio classes met for 3 hours a day, five days a week. Here we meet much less often, but the onus is on me to make sure I am producing work in quantity and quality to justify signing up for so many hours. I wasn't sure if I would be better off doing all painting or mixing another medium into my hours, but both professors and students recommended breaking it down the way I did.

It's great to have so many other people here who are willing to help. Second and third year MFA students are happy for a chance to assist someone in navigating the problems they've just conquered. Profs really like helping the grads out because they rely on us and also let them consider art on a deeper level than the undergrads generally do.

I still feel anxious about my work and how it will be received. I have to put a 12 minute presentation together to introduce my work, process, and intent to my peers. I hope it goes well. I almost expect them to decide that they were wrong about my work and that I will have to go home. I'm thinking that less as things settle. After introducing my work and seeing others', my nerves should loosen up some.

My wife has just started her PhD. Her professors keep telling her that everyone feels like a fraud at the beginning. I hope I don't keep feeling that way very long. I'm guessing the best way to overcome that is to make more work.